


Wildness

by thesoundofnat



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-18 13:08:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4707092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesoundofnat/pseuds/thesoundofnat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius had loved him back, but all those years in Azkaban had hardened him past the point of no return. He loved Remus, but he wasn’t gentle enough to love him right anymore. It had hurt, but it wasn’t anything Remus couldn’t handle.</p>
<p>He then locked eyes with a girl with bubblegum pink hair and a familiar glint of mischievousness in her eyes. Something awoke in him, but it was shoved away by a wave of reluctance. He knew better than to not be careful again.</p>
<p>(Or, Remus falls in love with two people in his life, and both of them bring out the wildness he keeps inside.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wildness

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted on my tumblr thesoundofnat.tumblr.com

Ever since Remus had turned into a living equivalence of wildness, his life had been packed with precautions. His parents were constantly careful, almost wary around him. It had agitated him, because he was just a boy, and kids needed the pure ferocity of childhood. Take that away from them and they were trapped, and that was how Remus felt. Trapped in his own body.

Therefore, when he came to Hogwarts and befriended some of the most mischievous people he’d ever known, he felt a fresh wave of relief hit him. It was freeing to finally act like a kid again.

Years later he couldn’t help but think that it was Sirius’ wild side that made Remus fall in love with him. There was something so ridiculously reckless behind every single one of his actions that Remus felt awed for the majority of their friendship. Yes, James had his fair share of playfulness, but it wasn’t like Sirius’. No. Sirius’ behavior was desperate. His soul was furious. He was bursting at the seams in his craving to be free.

And Remus could really relate to that. He fell in love with Sirius’ savage nature, which later made him fall for his gentle side as well. Sirius Black was just full of surprises, but all he wanted to do was to feel like his own person. Like he had control of his own life.

Remus didn’t know what to think when Sirius was thrown into Azkaban, and with James and Peter gone he found himself becoming more enraged than ever. He wasn’t proud of those first few years back in loneliness.

When he arrived at Hogwarts again as a teacher, he felt enwrapped in a bubble of carefulness. He couldn’t afford to lose his cool again. Not ever.

And then Sirius was back and he was innocent and for a glorious half hour Remus could envision himself the way he wanted to be. In control. At peace with himself. Careful when he needed to be, but relaxed the rest of the time. He was just so damn tired of being so tense.

Sirius had loved him back, but all those years in Azkaban had hardened him past the point of no return. He loved Remus, but he wasn’t gentle enough to love him right anymore. It had hurt, but it wasn’t anything Remus couldn’t handle.

He then locked eyes with a girl with bubblegum pink hair and a familiar glint of mischievousness in her eyes. Something awoke in him, but it was shoved away by a wave of reluctance. He knew better than to not be careful again.

He lost his will to live when Sirius died, but she brought it back for him, and that was when he knew that he could afford to let go one more time. One last time. He owed his 11-year-old self that much.


End file.
